Join us for a lively and fun discussion on the many benefits to women in a cuckold dynamic. Venus brings her wit and wisdom as we explore why we, and many other women thrive in this dynamic. This episode includes some great questions and comments from listeners!
Welcome to Beyond monogamy with your host, blogger podcaster and speaker crystal Welch. This show explores how relationships are changing in the 21st century. From consensual non monogamy to Cuckoldry. polyamory and Interracial Love. This is the place to learn everything you wanted to know about consensual non monogamy. Now without any further ado, let's welcome your host crystal Welch and dive headfirst into this episode.
Crystal Welch 5:27
This is our second one, we had a ton of fun last time, we hope you guys have a lot of questions and comments or whatever, that's what we're here for. But we, we've been having sort of an ongoing conversation about all the benefits, there's so so so from my experience, there's so many more men that are looking for this dynamic than there are, you know, women who are experienced cuckold versus and so many men that want to figure out how to talk to their partner about it. And so we just thought it would be fun to go over some of the many, many, many benefits for us as women with this dynamic. So that's kind of that was kind of the thought behind this. Big thanks to Venus for figuring out how to record. I wish we I wish we could have captured the last one because so many people asked for it. They it was really well. So anyway, we're gonna, we're gonna roll so you want to lead off Venus? And we'll just go from there.
Cuckoldress Venus 6:26
Yeah, yeah, she's to take away from the last chat. I really loved what you had to say about how you have even though it took you very, very long time to find the right bowl. It has brought such an immense, like, yes, it's next level intimacy is I think what you said something to that effect. Yeah, in your relationship. And I was like, That is so cool. I really, really liked and appreciated that part of it. And then that part where we were talking about how, you know, I feel like that cuckolding has been male driven. And I don't know, maybe a lot of it is orchestrated by men, and initiated by men, and that this is something that met an agenda that men tend to put forth. And that's okay. I mean, that's, that's the way it has been is just traditionally it's the guy bringing it to his partner. But I feel like now, in this space where women can connect in this lifestyle, that we are, you know, maybe what's the right word, claiming ownership of the female perspective of this lifestyle, which is very unique. I think it is unique, and it's special. And it is different from the male perspective. So that's what we're here to talk about today is the fact that, you know, there are so many benefits to women. It is an incredible kind of relationship. And even if you're not in a relationship, like I'm not, I'm single. I've had the experience, though, and I know what it's like, and I know what this kind of relationship does for women. And it's really amazing. So I think that I hope that these conversations are a way of women, you know, claiming that that said, I hope that these conversations are a way of women, you know, claiming that that space and saying, hey, you know, this is what cuckolding is to us and as as women, so
Crystal Welch 8:41
yeah, I you, I think you you have that exactly right. And I couldn't agree more. And it's really true. I mean, one of the things when I first when I first discovered Venus's work and the content that she's put up, what I loved and appreciate and respect so much is that she has consistently emphasized the loving nature of the cuckold relationship, the and as she just said, most men will focus on the sexual part or the the hotness of it, which it is all of that too. But there's so much more, there's so much more than just hot sex here. And as she mentioned, I you know, we have now a relationship, you know, a good really relationship and we all participate on one level or the other. But it's the communication skills that we've developed along the way where you know, there just aren't as zero secrets over here. We are 100% authentic all the time and because of that, we fight we do fight sometimes we fight. But we, we get out we we unravel it, we unravel it because we just, we just are so so open with each other about everything we're thinking one and curious about not one thing, all of that stuff. And so being able to bring those skills, you develop those skills inside of a cuckold relationship. And then when you find when you connect with the ball, if it's your thing to want to have like a regular bowl, you know those relationship skills transfer, I think it was Scarlett last time ask us, what are some of the skills that you've mastered? I'm asked us, What are some of the skills that you've mastered, as cuckold dresses that you've been able to apply to other areas or other relationships in your life? And that was such a good question. Because you can't I just believe that you can't really hone a skill, like your communication skills to a very fine degree and it not bleed over to every other relationship. Yeah, you know, honesty is very addicting. You know, authenticity is very, very, it feels so natural, and it feels, it's comforting. And so I think for me, as we started this journey, eight plus years ago, it is just deepened in so many ways, in so many ways. And there's a place you can't go back to that's the other thing. There's a place that neither my husband or I can, there's no, there's a place that neither my husband and I can, there's no, there's no back there. It's not like we couldn't, we couldn't just stop doing this if we didn't feel like doing it. But we have been changed as people as human beings, we, we have a certain level of communication. And you know, we've developed those skills as a result of this dynamic, and there's no place, there's no going back, you know, you develop them, you own them, and it's to your benefit. So I would say, you know, top on the list for women to hear, and for you guys that are here in the room to share with your woman that the journey that you'll take to establish a healthy cuckold relationship will change you, it will change you in very fundamental ways. And, and that's, that's something that you know, I, you know, that skill for women as you grow your communication skills. And she's able to recognize that she can now take those skills into her workplace with her, whether it may be family of origin with all other relationships. It just levels everything up. And I just, I just can't emphasize that enough. And until you've actually had that, if you've been in lifestyle long enough, and you haven't maybe quite had that experience it just take it on trust right now. That it will, it will change you and it will change everything about how you relate to people in general. And that's a good thing.
Cuckoldress Venus 13:06
There Scarlet. Hi, Scarlett. There she is. Yeah, Xena is here as well as the high kale. I should say hi to everybody. Your God kingdom. Hello, Ramon. Private user, whoever you are, Mr. miskeen. It'll go kuch another private user. Tim, Rob blues. Matt. She and me are like that name she me? Yeah, Kingdom Gemini. Kayla? castaway. Bury God, Fairy and Mark. Hey, hey, can we catch everybody? I think so. I think we got everybody.
Crystal Welch 13:46
Scarlet, your ears must have been burning. We just we just mentioned you. So anyway. Yeah. Did you poke your head in here?
Cuckoldress Venus 13:53
Yeah, we were talking about your amazing question from last year. Question from last week?
Crystal Welch 13:57
See, we're still working on it. What are the skills that we've learned in Cuckoldry? That that have translated to other areas of our life? And Oh, such a good question. So we thank you for that.
Cuckoldress Venus 14:08
Yeah. I just wanted to bring something up as well. I know that it like I think a lot of the reason why we're doing these conversations is like you said before, this is usually like there's way more men than interested in this than women. And we're trying to change that interested in this than women. And we're trying to change that collectively. And because there are so many benefits, let's not talk about the sex stuff. Let's just talk about the benefit for women period. And I think that for for myself, there's two things I want to talk about here. But the first one that that is is really important is that you're you're talking about how communication skills are definitely amplified in This kind of relationship and of course it has to, but I feel like Beneath that is, and this is the reason why I can't go back either I cannot go back to a fucking regular ass relationship. I just can't, right. Okay, I went out, okay, in the last, what, seven years, I went on one vanilla date, I lasted 15 minutes, and I was like, get me out of here. For real, I cannot go back. But I cannot go back. But I feel like this kind of relationship. And maybe I don't know if this is maybe just unique to me. But I think I suspect it's for other women too. I feel like this kind of relationship forces you to be really emotionally naked and vulnerable with your partner, you both have have to be that way. And I've talked to guys single guys who are looking for this kind of relationship, we've had it before. And they say the same thing. They're like, there is some there is some real clarity to this kind of relationship, there is a level of trust that's so open, like there's literally nothing that you can't talk about. And there's nothing that you need to worry about. Like it's just you, you, you are literally just baring your fucking sexual sexuality to this person, you're baring your soul to this person, and they are accepting and loving all of that. And what I'm saying chips are so fucking unique. And so connecting is because you're literally emotionally fucking naked with each other. So true, so true, right? And I'm like, of course, that's gonna make a huge impact in your your relationship and the way that you communicate the way that you trust each other, the way that you can act and the way that you love each other. So yeah, going back to some basic as ship as like, forget it, I can't do it. Yeah, so we're gonna, yeah,
Crystal Welch 17:02
there's no back there back there. No, there is it's gone. It's gone. No, you said something really key. Oh, man, I'm reaching for it. Because I, you know, there's so many thoughts that jump on top of the other ones, it'll come back to me. But it's, I think, because so many men have been interested, which is kind of curious to me. So many more men have been interested in this dynamic dynamic, that the benefits for women have kind of got lost in translation. And I think that's why Venus and I, when we talked about this, thought we would do this series for as long as it's as long as people are, I guess, willing to show up but But what women need to know, is all this stuff we're talking about now. I mean, I don't have, I don't think I have a single friend, that I know female friend, that doesn't want a loving, connected, intimate, caring, compassionate relationship with a partner, I don't know, a single one who doesn't want that. And yet, 99% of the time, when I talked to them, they're frustrated, you know, the guy's checked out, he doesn't pay attention to her anymore, or whatever the complaint is, I hear a lot more of that. But the cuckold couples I know, you know, they're singing the praises of their partners. And but the cuckold couples I know. You know, they're singing the praises of their partners. And, and they're lovers and all of that. It's, it's different. And so, if there was just one thing I could share with as many women as possible it is this loving, connected relationship that you've always fantasized about is possible. It's possible. I'm not sure. Based on my own experience, if it's as possible outside of this dynamic, it isn't for me, maybe it is. And I know there are some, I have a couple friends that have been married for very, very long time, and they have good relationships, and they don't go outside their relationship. So it's certainly not for everybody, but it's taken us to a level my husband and I both have agreed, you know, there is no place to go back to. And, you know, we feel like, even though we're older, it's, you know, we feel so fortunate that we got to experience this once in life. I mean, I'm, I like your term, emotionally naked. It was that was never ever, ever the case, in any other relationship. And so, I'm, I'm convinced for myself that there isn't any other way to be. And even if you try it on one or two little aspects of it, you might find your connection deepening or your intimacy, you know, deepening there's just the the most no benefits are just legend. And I think that's the stuff that that gets lost in the porn translation of Cuckoldry. The really important stuff gets lost, it gets lost.
Cuckoldress Venus 20:14
Yes, absolutely. And then the other thing that I have I've, I want to just talk quickly about is that, and this is not well, I don't know, this is really just for women because not Well, I don't know, this is really just for women, because I have found that one of the benefits for myself in with this kind of relationship, this kind of lifestyle, is, of course, we talked about sexual empowerment for women and the journey that it takes you on and it's really amazing and stuff like that. But it's also for me, given me I guess, the strength to not give a fuck about what men are telling me when it comes to how I showed her shouldn't express my sexuality. Like, let me tell you, let me tell you, over the last seven years, even though this is something that like, I you know, feel comfortable, I feel strong, I can say what I like what I don't like, and I'm really not concerned about hurting feelings, like I used to be. But, man, I have noticed how many men still want to tell me how I should be doing things.
Crystal Welch 21:39
mansplaining is rampant.
Cuckoldress Venus 21:41
Really, honestly, whether it's my podcast, whether it's like, what kind of guys I'm into, whether it's like how I talk about them, like, whatever it is, they just cannot fucking help themselves, but they just want to tell me how I need to act, behave, talk and express my sexuality. And this kind of relationship tells me No, I can do what I want. And I can choose what I want. I can say what I want, and I'm okay with it. I don't give a fuck if you're butthurt about it. I really don't care.
Crystal Welch 22:20
Yes, this is very solid, no, fucks left to give territory. Absolutely,
Cuckoldress Venus 22:25
absolutely. But that is not something that's that kind of strength is not something that I had bits of, you know, expressing my sexuality and all sorts of wild and wonderful ways. I wasn't until I found cockling that it really gave me the strength. And maybe maybe the me was the time of my life as well. But if that combination gave me the strength to be able to just say, you know, shut up, like, I'm just gonna do whatever I want. I'm done. I'm done listening to the fucking noise like
Crystal Welch 22:58
actly No, oh my gosh, that is that is so so so. So true. It's that confidence that gets born. I mean, that's when you can really own it. I think that's the other thing. For women to really hear when you are celebrated in the way that you can be celebrated by a cuckold male, it's sent you to another realm, the way that I think all women should be celebrated. But we're not in our society. It's, we're obviously taught. And that's one of the things that I think it can elevate women and I think that that's probably happened to all of us on one level or the other, our confidence has really escalated. You know, our, our ability to express who we are and what we want, unapologetically. All have it. That's a direct result of the cook dynamic. And that's the other thing for women to really, really hear. I think that you know, your your confidence and your ability to support yourself in having what the hell you want. I mean, where else can you do that? I mean, nobody's gonna hand it to you in this like, You got to claim it. Yes, you got to claim it. Claim it. And you can and that's the good news. You can you can Yeah.
Cuckoldress Venus 24:26
Yeah, having a cup partner is like having this like amazing little cheer note. I want you to go for it. Go for it all. It's like, it's like, oh my god, you know,
thank you for tuning in. You can access Crystal's latest blog and podcast at sea Welsh Polly on medium and find her on Twitter at Crystal Welsh 99. Your Questions and Comments are always welcome. Also, if you're enjoying the show, please feel free to rate subscribe or leave a review. Wherever you listen to your podcasts. We appreciate it and we'll catch to you in the next episode,
Crystal Welch 25:02
as a female, when we are so roundly criticized and judged and mansplain and, you know, we find condescending people everywhere. It's such a rare slot to be able to be completely celebrated by by your partner. And that that confidence that you gain from that, you know, you do carry into the rest of your life. Yeah. And how are you going to give that up once you carry into the rest of your life? Yeah. And how are you going to give that up once you have it? You're not Oh, it's your not me tell
Cuckoldress Venus 25:38
you though. It's a blessing and a fucking curse? If you're single. Let me tell you. No, no, I
Crystal Welch 25:43
get that too. Yeah, no, I get that.
Cuckoldress Venus 25:46
Because, yeah, I can't go back to just like, basic shit. But like, it's really, really hard to find, well, it wasn't for you, it was these seem to be quite easy. You just put it out there. And the universe just gave you this fucking amazing life partners, though. For me, it's been a little more challenging. But it's because this kind of dynamic, in my opinion, really, the basis is of it is love. And so love is fucking difficult to find, as it is. So.
Crystal Welch 26:20
And that's, and that is the tricky part. I mean, we I think in the interest of having a balanced conversation here. I mean, obviously being tonight, both in the interest of having a balanced conversation here. I mean, obviously, Venus and I both deeply believe in this dynamic. And we also deeply agree that it's not easy. It's not easy to find, it's not easy to find your cook partner or your or if you're if you want to be a cook to find the right woman is not easy. And on that note, I'm going to use this to plug your service, Venus connections, Venus has started a program for matchmaking. Yes, men who are cuckold and women who are willing to be a cuckold dress. And so I would strongly encourage you to and I'm sure she's going to talk about that here in a little bit. But actually, I
Cuckoldress Venus 27:10
have a whole mon chat dedicated to it that's happening this Sunday. So go to that
Crystal Welch 27:15
corner that go to that, because that is I'm not aware of any other service like that, in existence. And the demand is so high. I mean, I started going peeling through my DMs today to capture all that and send them out a blast them a message, but But it's, it's amazing the amount of interest that is there for it and the amount of engagement and just hungry, but mostly they're 90% 90% Are men that are hungry for information, they're hungry to either find the woman or how do I talk to my wife or girlfriend about this? Or how do I talk her into it. And there's all those kinds of conversations going on, all around. And so clearly, there's a lot of interest out there. And we just felt like, there's so many fewer female voices. So we're so grateful for people like Venus and like Scarlet and some other people that are really big, big supporters of the Empowered sexual, the sexually empowered female in whatever form we choose to take that we're just we're we're essentially empowered female in whatever form we choose to take that. We're just we're, we're a small minority. We need more people. Yes. In the in the lifestyle and more people who are willing to share their experience, share what they've learned, share what mistakes they made, how they solve them, all of that we need so much more of that. But there's just not not nearly enough women talking about it. Absolutely.
Cuckoldress Venus 28:55
And these conversations are such a benefit, obviously to women, but they are a benefit to the gentleman as well, because I was just talking to a couple a couple days ago. And he had brought it up to her quite early on in the relationship. And he just kind of dropped it on her like this is what I'm into. And oh my god, she Googled it. She Googled, oh, no, no, I was like, Oh, no.
Crystal Welch 29:23
Oh, no, you don't do that.
Cuckoldress Venus 29:25
Yeah, so she was like, I Googled it. And then I was like, oh my god, I What the hell was this dude, like, I didn't talk to him for two days or something like that. Like, it was bad and then it was really bad. And then she luckily she opened up to one of her girlfriends about it and said, Hey, like my boyfriend brought this up kitten like can you believe it? And her girlfriend actually they had a conversation together. And after that conversation, she was like, Oh, I you know, I think I understand this differently. Now this might be something that I'm I could try. And I was like Horse, leave it to women to like, you know, make the shit like digestible, you know, palatable, oh my god.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai